When the Church You Want to Get Married in Won’t Marry You

by Crystal Carder
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When Michael and I got engaged, we wanted to get married in the church my mom and dad got married in. The church was located in a rural town and had that gorgeous church-appeal that most new brides long for.

Although we didn’t attend the church, we decided to call the church and set up a meeting with the church’s pastor to see if she would marry us. As we desperately waited for the day to meet with the pastor, I got my hopes up. I started to think about how gorgeous a wedding there would be and I started making plans, just like every new bride does.

When the day finally came for us to meet with the pastor, I never dreamed I would walk out of there with a broken heart and blood half boiling, but that’s what we did.

I don’t remember the whole conversation now, but my husband and I were denied getting married in that church because we were too young. Yep. The lady pastor told us that we would never last and she would not marry us and we should rethink our decision.

As we left there, I was mad. I may have been 18, but we were certain, we were ready to be married. And, ten years later, our marriage is still going strong. No one can predict the future, but unfortunately, things like this still happen. If you’re going through something like this, know you’re not alone.

While you can’t force a church to marry you, there are things you can do to make finding a church easier and still get your dream wedding.

What to Do When the Church You Want to Get Married In Won’t Marry You

what to do when your dream Church Won't Marry You

Don’t Panic

While the first thing you may want to do when you find out your dream church won’t marry you is panic, I advise you, this is not the best thing to do. In fact, it’s not something you should do, at all – even if you feel like it.

Panicking only causes more stress and more problems. Remember just because your dream church won’t marry you doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have something better planned for you-you just don’t know it yet.

Ask For Suggestions on Churches

One thing that helped Michael and I find a church when we got married was telling friends and family about our nightmarish ordeal. This really got people thinking and our loved ones did everything they could do to help us.  In fact, it was because we told people that we did finally find a pastor to marry us. One day while I was at work an old friend walked in and I started telling her about our whole ordeal. Turns out, this friend’s dad was a pastor. She gave me his number and he happily agreed to marry us.

Call Around to Different Churches

If you’re not too picky about where you get married, but want to get married in a church, start calling around. This will give you and your fiancé a chance to factor in more of the important issues like; the cost of the church and what’s required of you and your spouse before you get married.

Consider Not Getting Married in a Church

While a church wedding was something I wasn’t not going to have, if it’s not important to you, consider renting a venue and hiring an officiant.

This may be a bit more expensive, but if your dream church won’t marry you, you can always create a dream wedding outside of a church.

Although it isn’t right and it never feels good, there isn’t much you can do when a church refuses to marry you. One of the easiest things you can do is just move on and look for better. One day you may even thank your lucky stars that that church didn’t marry you, I know Michael and I do.

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what to do when your dream Church Won't Marry You

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