Michael and I have a more successful marriage than I could have ever imagined. We celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary in March and we have only ever fought a handful of times. Our marriage is good, to say the least, but I don’t think it would be as good if we didn’t add these five important traits to our marriage.
Unfortunately, many of the people who got married around the same time Michael and I did are already divorced or thinking of divorce. I don’t believe in failed marriages, just because two people can’t get along, instead, I believe every marriage can be successful if you and your partner just put these five traits into your marriage.
5 Traits for a Successful Marriage
Every marriage should adhere to a certain level of trust. Whether it’s as simple as trusting your partner when they are at work or trusting your partner to take care of the kids, a successful marriage has to have trust.
Trust is a fundamental trait for a successful marriage because, without it, a troubled marriage can easily come about. Too many times when couples can’t trust one another, problems immediately arise. No one wants to be accused of cheating or doing something wrong and will eventually get old.
A marriage without trust will never last.
Every marriage needs spontaneity. Without it, the spark that you two once had together will fade and you may grow further apart. Too often in marriage, couples get too into this routine that they forget to do little simple things for one another.
The spark that once was there burns out and we stop focusing on one another. This can have devastating effects on a marriage. As a married couple, you both must like being around each other and doing little spontaneous acts for one another.
When we stop seeing our spouse as a person and see them for a paycheck or many, our marriages can immediately suffer. Every successful marriage needs to have some kind of compassion for one another. We need to understand that our spouse isn’t purposefully letting themselves go, or they have dreams too.
Too often we stop having compassion for our spouses and we complain about them. We stop seeing them for the person they really are and focus on their flaws. When a marriage loses compassion, it isn’t long before the fire that you once had burned out.
A marriage without understanding can quickly be in trouble. When your spouse gets laid off at work and you blame him instead of understanding it wasn’t his fault, can really make one spouse feel superior over the other.
A successful marriage has to have some level of understanding to work. When a couple doesn’t attempt to understand one another, they may deal with hurt feelings and resentment towards one another. In marriage, you have to feel like you can talk openly to one another, but when you feel like you’re going to be judged or laughed at, communication goes out the window.
Without understanding, your marriage may not last. A successful marriage has to be a ‘safe’ place for both parties to be able to express themselves without feeling misjudged.
Being married means you’re a team. You should have each other’s back at all times and you should always be each other’s cheerleader. When one of you are scared to do something, the other one should always be encouraging them. A marriage without encouragement can be one that is depressing and sad. Many couples who are in relationships where the other one doesn’t encourage them often feel like they don’t matter. That is never a place you should be in a marriage.
Whenever a married couple takes the time to encourage each other and do the things the other one wants to do, there’s a whole lot of respect and love going on. Without having this trait in your marriage, your bond can easily be broken. In marriage when you work as a team, you become unbreakable.
My marriage with Michael has been amazing and we implement these 5 traits into our marriage every day. I hope these traits for a successful marriage will help you too. For more marriage advice, check out my post 8 Secrets to a Happy Marriage.