For me, the decision of becoming a stay-at-home mom was probably the best one I made. Although, it took a little bit of time to become used to spending my husband’s money (he always called it ours, it was just weird for me, at first) and living on just one income, after a while, I realized being a mother was what I was always cut out to do and was happy I made the decision to be a SAH mom.
Signs You’re Not Cut Out to Be a SAH Mom
Unfortunately, many mothers are guilted into becoming a stay-at-home mom or staying one. Nowadays, there is so much pressure to be the best, that we often feel like failures if we want (or need) something different.
While I know that not everyone can afford to not be a SAH mom(childcare is expensive), if you are experiencing any of these feelings, you should probably reconsider staying at home.***
You dread waking up in the mornings
One of the first things you may notice, if you’re not enjoying your job as a SAH mom, is that feeling of dread. If you begin to dread waking up in the mornings because you know you have to do the same thing again, you may need to reconsider what’s making it so dreadful. If you realize that you’re generally not happy staying at home, than you need to do something to change it- even if that means going back to work.
When moms aren’t happy, it can quickly become a downward spiral and cause problems for the whole family.
You cry and feel sad – all the time
If you begin to cry and feel sad, all the time, you may not be happy and that can be a BIG problem. Not only will those emotions get passed on to your children, but chances are, you won’t be doing a good job giving you or your children what you both need.
It is perfectly okay to not like staying home with the kids, so if you’re happier getting a job, do it – your kids deserve a happy mom!
You don’t enjoy your days
As a SAH mom, I’ve had those days of being feeling like everyone else was doing things and you weren’t. Those days are completely normal. But, if you begin to obsess over it and stop enjoying your days, than maybe you should reconsider staying at home. Some mothers are born to work and some are born to stay home with the kids. There is nothing wrong with deciding to do something you love as opposed to doing something you hate.
Taking care of kids is hard enough, but if you’re not enjoying it, maybe you’d do better with a job.
You are angry towards your children
Not everyone will like staying at home with the kids. After all, it’s hard and takes a serious toll on your psyche. If you can’t handle the kids fighting, crying, or just being kids, maybe you need a change of scenery.
If you feel the need to yell, more than likely your over-stressed, not happy, or something else is going on. Making yourself less stressed should be your first priority. If that means taking a few hours for yourself, than do it, but if it means going back to work – do it. Your kid’s well-being is more important than staying at home because you feel guilty. Kids deserve a happy mom and you can’t be happy if you’re not enjoying your life.
You just don’t like it
Some people just don’t like being a SAH mom and that’s okay. Changing diapers, making food, cleaning the house, and doing everything that needs done is a lot of work. If you don’t like staying at home with the kids, don’t feel bad. You are entitled to do what makes you happy, even if that means calling a sitter and getting a job. Don’t ever feel guilty for being you!
What to do if you can’t afford not to be at home with the kids?
If you’re unable to get a job and are feeling some of the above emotions, here are somethings you can do to help find your happiness:
- Seek help by talking to a professional
- Ask friends and family for help
- Consider finding a hobby (start a blog, read how to start a blog)
- Make time for yourself, everyday
This post is not meant to judge, mock, or guilt any one. Being a SAH mother is one of the hardest jobs there are. Sometimes being a mother means we do what is best for the kids; even if that means leaving them at grandmas and going to work.
You have the most important job there is, if you’re not happy, chances are your kids won’t be neither.