How to Rekindle the Flame

This post was last updated on October 9, 2018.

One thing no one ever talks about when you get married is how hard marriage is once you’ve been married after a while. After the honeymoon phase settles down and you add kids to the mix, things get rough and sometimes it’s necessary to find a way to rekindle the flame.

They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what god has joined together, let no one seperate.

-Matthew 19:6

No matter how much you and your spouse love each other, you’re bound to go through your shares of “rough patches”. Before you decide to throw in the towel, try rekindling the flame with these tips.

Take a Vacation

A vacation, or a small road trip, is always a great way for you and your spouse to rekindle the flame. Not only does it require time together, but it also requires you and your spouse to communicate.

A getaway can help your marriage by getting rid of the stresses of life and the stresses of work. Sometimes all you need to do to get back to “normal” is spend a little time alone together so turn off the phones, crank up the tunes, and act like two young lovers again.

Turn to God 

Before my husband and I could get married, the pastor made us do marriage counseling. Although I really didn’t think we needed it, I remember the pastor telling us a story of how getting away from God almost destroyed his whole marriage.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like the eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

-Isaiah 40:31

                                                                                                                                                                    Whenever you and your spouse are having troubles, turning to God in prayer and praying for one another is essential. God always tells us to come to Him in trouble and the Bible makes it very clear that marriage is forever. Because our God is such a loving God, He wouldn’t want our marriages to fail and He promises to help us; all we have to do is ask.

Have a Date Night, Even if it’s With the Kids 

I am guilty of refusing to leave my kids to go out for a date night with my husband. That doesn’t mean, though, that we still can’t have a date night with the kids. Sometimes whenever we get grumpy and stressed, we take the kids to BK or the park and let them play while we watch and talk. Although it isn’t a real date, sometimes it feels like one and it makes both of us feel better.

Sometimes, especially when you have kids, all you and your partner need to rekindle the flame are a few minutes alone – even if that means staying up later than the kids and watching a tv show together.

Think Back to the Story of How You Two Met 

how to rekindle the flame

I met my husband while I was working and when he gave me his phone number, I didn’t call him. As luck would have it, he came back into my work and this time I gave him my number and the rest was history. Sometimes all it takes to get rid of anger and frustration with one another is just thinking back to how the two of you met.

Just think about it, I bet you can’t without putting a smile on your face. No matter how mad you are at one another, think back to the reason you two were attracted to each other in the first place.

Do Little Things for Each Other 

It’s crazy how we get in a routine and stop doing the little things that matter for one another. Just doing simple little things like; waking up with one another before work, doing a house chore, or taking the kids off one another’s hands and giving them a night off can really make a big impact on each other’s life.

Sometimes in marriage, we become so focused on our needs and wants, that we forget about our spouse’s needs and wants.

Do Things Without Asking for Something in Return

Life can be rough and sometimes we don’t treat our spouses with the respect they deserve. Instead of offering to do something nice with no expectations, we start to use our spouses and refuse to do anything unless they do something for us.

Unfortunately, this becomes the start of a toxic relationship where nothing good will ever happen. As soon as you start using each other, things begin to go south, fast. So, next time you want to offer to watch the kids, don’t expect something back.

Chances are, just being nice will give you something better than you could ever ask for.

Whenever you are trying to rekindle the flame with your spouse it is important that you both make an effort and try. Remember when you go into marriage, your marriage is real. The movie you are watching on Hallmark is just a movie, real life isn’t always a love story.

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