How To Deal With The Dreaded In-Laws

by Crystal Carder
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For some new wives, getting married is a dream come true. They’ve score their Prince Charming and are ready to live happily ever after. Then, the dreaded in-law thing happens. Everything the new bride does is just WRONG. No matter how hard she tries, winning over the in-laws is just impossible; it’s almost like you stole their little boy and they will always hate you – no matter what.

What should you do if you find yourself in this very awkward position? While there are many things you could do, here are a few things you should NEVER do and a few tips on what you should do instead.

Don’t loose your temper.

Almost every new bride, deals with some sort of backlash from their in-laws. It’s expected. But, one thing you should never do, is loose your temper and yell at your in-laws. Not only will this make you feel bad, in the future, but you’re probably going to put your spouse in a very awkward and hard position that he doesn’t deserve to be in.

Dealing with in-laws can be rough, but loosing your temper, will only put a strain on your own relationship with your spouse. If your in-laws are too hard to handle, always talk it over with your spouse first and ask them to handle to situation for you. More than likely, he can get through to his parents better than you loosing your temper ever would.

If You Wouldn’t Say It About Your Parents…

Golden rule in marriage, if you wouldn’t say it about your parents, don’t say it about his. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have heard new brides or grooms talk badly about their in-laws. This is a very bad thing to do. Not only are you saying that his family isn’t as important as yours, you probably wouldn’t like it if he said the same things back to you about your family.

When it comes to family, you should always tread lightly and remember that without those in-laws your spouse wouldn’t be there.

Plus, you might as well get used to them now, if you’re planning kids because your kids will probably look like them. Even if you don’t want them too, trust me.

Spend Time With Them

Yes, I really did just suggest spending time with the devil. (Haha, I’m just kidding, but I knew you would like that). You’re not going to mend a relationship if you never try, so suck it up buttercup and go visit your in-laws. Chances are, the more time you spend with your in-laws, the sooner they will see what he sees in you.

Put yourself in your in-laws’ shoes, you just married their boy and a lot of time, the in-laws feel left out. They really do want t be part of your life, so let them be.

Never ever cut off a relationship with the in-laws

While cutting off a relationship with the in-laws may seem like a good idea, once it’s done, it’s done. No matter what the reason, you could really damage your own relationship with your spouse. 

Could you imagine if something happened to your in-laws while you were cut-off from them? Not only would you feel terrible, but your husband may never forgive you and your relationship would seriously suffer. 

You should never make your spouse choose between you and his family. It’s just bad for a relationship, period.

Don’t Get Mad When Your Husband Calls Them

Rule number one in marriage, you have to trust your spouse. If he wants to call his mom or dad, you can’t get mad at him just because you don’t like them. Sure, you can express your feelings to him about what upsets you with them, but you never stop him from calling.

Chances are, you would never listen to your spouse if he tried to stop you. Relationships should never have one partner controlling the other, so trust him and let him talk to his family.

Have a heart to heart

Lastly, if you feel like you have tried and tried and nothing works, have a heart to heart with your in-laws. Tell your in-laws what is bothering you and stand firm. Let them know you love your spouse and you’re not going anywhere. And, remember Rome wasn’t built in a day and a good relationship takes time to grow.

Almost all couples that I know, who have dealt with in-law problems, have said their in-laws have come around after a few years. It may seem like forever, but eventually you will love them too.

If that doesn’t work, in-laws will usually come around by the time the grandbabies start popping out (sorry, I just had to say it, it’s so true).

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

-Mark 10:9

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