My husband and I recently celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in March and we have learned so many things about having a happy marriage throughout the years. In fact, getting to ten years wasn’t an easy feat. My husband and I faced times when it would have been easier to leave than to stay in our marriage, but we pulled through and came out all the better for it.
Whether you’re just getting married, or been married for a while, these 8 secrets to a happy marriage have made my marriage stronger and better than I ever could have imagined.
When Your Not Happy In Your Marriage
Whenever you’re not happy in your marriage, bad things can happen. It can be easy to ‘give up’ and it can be even easier for one spouse to give into temptation. Not being happy in your marriage, means there is something that is broken and needs to be fixed. It doesn’t, however, mean that you can get through the trial together as a couple.
Having a happy marriage takes work, communication, and willingness from both sides. While it may easier to give up on your marriage, remember that the Bible says; “Therefore what God has joined together let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9)
Secrets to a Successful Happy Marriage
1. Be Spontaneous
Whenever you’ve been married to your spouse for a little while, life can get away from you. Your life starts revolving around school, work, friends and not around your spouse. That’s why a little spontaneity can go a long way in a marriage. Doing small things for one another is a simple way to remind the other one that you still care.
Michael and I usually practice spontaneity in our marriage by doing little things for one another like; helping with dishes, the kids, or surprising each other with small little gifts of love.
Since we often stop working on our marriage once we say, I do, it’s important to make sure you put effort into your marriage every day.
2. Put God First
When Michael and I got married, we didn’t put a lot of effort into finding God. We left God out of our relationship. We weren’t bad people, but our relationship always felt like it was missing something.
We would fight more often, we wouldn’t treat one another the way God intended us to treat each other, and we almost gave up on our marriage without God in it.
When we finally found God Together, our marriage blossomed into this amazing relationship of respect and so much more. Whenever we fight, we think of the way God intended our marriage to be and we know that giving up is not an option.
We follow the commandments and we understand that looking at someone lustfully is adultery and not tolerated in Gods eyes. We also know that God does not take breaking vows lightly and have found a lot of guidance to having a happy marriage in the Bible.
Whether you believe in God or not, His rules for marriage are ones that should be admired. He knew exactly what would break a marriage and exactly how a husband should treat his wife and vice versa.
If your marriage isn’t happy, finding God may be the missing puzzle piece that it needs to bloom.
3. Act Like Newlyweds
Remember when your relationship was easy? When you were all over each other and had no care in the world about what anyone else would think. Marriage should be just like that. Just because you get married and have kids doesn’t mean that you can’t be fun and exciting anymore.
In fact, it means you need to be fun and exciting and act like newlyweds. Whenever you make your marriage this fun space, you take the stress out of marriage and in return bring the two of you closer together.
4. Spend Quality Time Together
With marriage comes adult responsibilities. You have kids and work and you have barely any time to do anything else. In order to have a successful and happy marriage, you need to be sure to spend time with one another.
Whenever you don’t get to spend enough time with each other, you slowly start to grow apart and bad things may happen.
When you treat your marriage like a plant that needs time and attention to grow, your marriage will grow bigger and better with each passing day.5. Take an Interest in Each Other’s Hobbies
One of the worst mistakes couples make together is not taking an interest in each other’s hobbies. This is one thing that has attributed to Michael and my successful marriage.
Michael has done taken an interest in every silly hobby I have ever endured and I have taken an interest in everything he’s tried, no matter how silly I thought it was.
One of the biggest things I see couples complain about is one person refuses to see the point in the other’s hobbies and in return, they discourage them to do it. This never good for a marriage and can cause numerous feelings of resentment, low self-esteem, and other issues that can be problematic for a marriage.
6. Set Aside Marital Rules
There’s a reason the Bible contains rules for marriage, it’s because no marriage can actually succeed without them. No matter how silly it sounds to make rules for one another, every marriage needs them to succeed.
A marriage without rules can quickly lead to problems. In a happy marriage, you need to know which lines can be crossed and which lines shouldn’t be.
7. Respect Each Other
Respecting each other is something I rarely see couples doing these days. We get into this habit of “If you do this, I’ll do that” and we forget that it shouldn’t be like that in any relationship.
When we don’t respect one another, we cause bigger issues to build up and in return our marriage breaks because of it. Respect is something we’re taught in kindergarten, but if you’re not actively practicing it in your marriage, it can be the start of a failed marriage.
To be the most respectful with your spouse, you need to keep their feelings into account and treat them like you want to be treated.
8. No Secrets Allowed – Ever!
Whenever I hear a couple talking about not knowing the other ones social media password, I immediately think something sounds off. In a relationship, there should be no secrets – ever! Whenever one half of the couple keeps things like Facebook passwords secret, it can signal much bigger problems.
In order to have a happy marriage, couples need to share everything with one another. Whenever you start to keep things from one another, suspicious can arise and it makes it seem like you’re hiding something. Michael and I have always been an open book with one another. We don’t keep secrets, or passwords from one another and it has really helped our marriage remain a sense of trust.
I hope these 8 secrets for a happy marriage help your marriage like they have helped my marriage. For more marriage tips and things I’ve learned about marriage check out my section on marriage.