After almost 8 years of marriage, there have been times my husband and I have had some pretty nasty fights. Most of the time, they were brought by something so silly, I can’t even remember it. But, throughout the years, I’ve done things that I can’t believe I could have been petty enough to do like:
1. Don’t bring in the parents or other people. Maybe this one is more for younger couples, but in the past I’ve threatened to call his parents and tell them how he was wrong and I was right. While I may have gotten to hear what I wanted to hear, bringing in each other’s parents on a fight is never a good idea. Not only are you adding worry to your parents, but your casing them extra stress that they don’t need.
2. Don’t call names. Again, this one sounds very childish, but I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a couple fighting and calling each other names like a bunch of 5th graders. While you may not mean anything by the names you call each other, words can still hurt and cause damage. Especially, if those words focus on each other’s looks.
3. Don’t ever talk bad about one another in public. So, you’re at work with your best friend, Bob, and you’re talking. He says something about his wife, so you decide to tell him just how crazy your wife’s been acting. This is a big no, no. Not only could Bob tell his wife and it get back to your wife, but Bob may actually take to heart and believe your wife is crazy. Weeks from now, you and your wife may be out of that rut, but Bob may forever think your wife is a crazy nutcase.
4. Don’t fight in front of the kids. It has been proven that parents who fight in front of their kids have children who have added anxiety. Whatever the reason, children never need to hear their parents fighting.
5. Don’t end the fight without resolving the issue. In the past there have been times my husband and I have fought and just got tired of fighting. We ended the fight without really ending it. Needless to say, tension eventually built up and our second fight was usually worse than the first.
6. Don’t post about it on social media. Social media may be where all your friends and family are, but posting drama on it, is really silly. In fact, I can guarantee at least one person will be sitting back and laughing at your misery. Once something is on the internet, there is no taking it back.
7. Don’t ignore each other or laugh it off and pretend like their feelings don’t matter. One of the worse things a partner can do in any fight is to laugh at the other one for feeling the way they do. I can guarantee you, the person upset will only get angrier and end up resenting you more. Even if their complaint is something as silly as picking up your socks, at least try to pretend you care and start pick up your socks.
8. Promise to change and never change. So you’ve been fighting for a while and you just really want some peace and quiet, so you give in. You promise to change, but you know you’re not going to change. Don’t make empty promises. If you’re doing something that bothers the other, at least make some attempt to better yourself.
What are some things you’ve done in a fight that you’ve wished you wouldn’t have? Let me know in the comments below.
If you loved this post, be sure to check out 6 Things Every Marriage Needs to Blossom.